Bittersweet Hate (Bittersweet #3) Read online

  I pull away gasping in breath and get up from the couch he’s resting on the back of. We need space, lots of space.

  “We need to talk.” I exclaim. A sly grin forms on his face; he knows what he’s doing to me. He’s a manipulator, and I know being here with him and allowing him to put his dick in me feeds into that. I’m practically setting myself on a silver platter for him.

  “Do we?” He says, his asshole attitude coming out again. He jumps over the couch landing in the spot I was just sitting in. Dickhead.

  “Yes. We need to discuss us, and the past, and you, and we just need to do less fucking and more talking.” I’m flustered; hell I’m more than flustered. Being around him is like being drunk every minute of the day. My body, and heart both pull to him while my mind says, don’t do it Mimi.

  He stares at me; watching me as if he will pounce at any moment. Corey’s unpredictable, and I learned this a long time ago. Anything you assume he won’t do he will.

  “You see Mimi, the only problem I have with talking and not fucking is when you get to talking, you get to thinking, and when you get to thinking, you get insecure and then suddenly you’re coming up with excuses as to why we can’t be together and I don’t want the excuses Mimi. I just want you.”

  I can’t help my reaction to his comment. My mouth is left gaping open as my mind try’s to catch up with my body.

  “I’m not insecure; I just want to know I’m it for you; hat you want me and no one else. You’ve slept with basically the whole college, how am I to know that you don’t have someone else on the side. You fucked Jenna over, who’s to say you’re not fucking me over too?”

  If he’s pissed his expression doesn’t give it away. I think he knew that one day his past would catch up with him. I think he knew that if he ever wanted to try and be with me it would be hard. Like I would ever make it easy, I’m Mimi fucking Jones. I don’t do easy.

  “You’re right, I fucked up. I fucked up with Jenna. I hurt her so bad; I ripped away her happiness, and surrounded her in darkness. I knew that if I had to hurt then she did too.” He looks at me as if he’s seeing right through me, as if he’s reliving the past.

  “For a whole year, I hurt people as my coping mechanism. I hurt Jenna because I thought it would make me feel better. I’m an asshole most days, and a bastard on others. But I refuse to let you go, Mimi. I want you, only you. I’ve never made love to someone ever. I fuck, and I fuck hard. But I made love to you the other night; I opened up a part of myself to you.” He takes a giant breath, as he runs his hands through his hair; his frustration evident in his words.

  “You can run from me Mimi. You can run as far and fast as you want. I won’t give up though, I’ll find you and bring you back screaming and yelling. You are mine. The hate and anger you have for me is mine. The love you have for me. Mine.” His words cause my blood to boil. Pretty boy thinks he can just apologize and it makes things better huh?

  “Whoa, let’s get something straight here. I’m not yours. I won’t ever be yours. I want love, and compassion. I want butterflies, and fucking rainbows. With you I won’t ever get those things.” I can pretend to be strong, pretend that every word that he says to me doesn’t affect me but it does. It’s like taking a hammer to my strong walls and hitting them. I can feel the ache it causes me every time his words are said. They strike the wall causing pieces to crumble causing me to crumble.

  “Being with me doesn’t make you weak Mimi. You’re stronger than anyone I know, you put up with me and I’m a hard-ass. I wanted to break you Mimi, I did, and I won’t lie. It turned me on to lash out at you. To know that you hated me, that I made you feel this way.” I feel the tears pricking behind my eyes. I want to close them so badly but can’t pull my eyes away from Corey. Our relationship maybe a love hate, but I know both can’t coincide together.

  “I love you. That’s what I’m trying to say. I know I fucked up royally. I know there isn’t much that I can do to change your mind of the past, but I can change the future and I’ll be damned if you’re not a part of it.”

  He pulls, I push. I push, he pulls. One way or another, this has to stop. Sooner or later one of us has to give in. It seems like he’s already surrendered, but I’m not sure I can.

  “Then you’ll be damned, because I don’t know if I can do this with you Corey. Giving my body to you is a lot different than being with you. You’ve hurt people, you’ve hurt me, and I’ve watched you prance around with not one, but two bimbos on your arm. I won’t allow myself to be made a mockery out of by you.” I try to sound determined, but all I want to do is sink to my knees and cry, to be free of all the conflicting emotions. I want to be numb to what he says to me, so that it doesn’t matter. So that when I walk away from this I won’t see the hurt in his eyes.

  In less than two strides he’s in front of me, encasing me in his arms. My head leans on his shoulder as he holds me.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you cry, and I’m sorry I was too dumb to know a good thing when I saw it. You fucked with me Mimi. One kiss; that’s all it took, do you know how many things I’ve done with girls? And all you have to do is kiss me and I’m whipped.” I smile into his shirt. It smells like sweat, and man.

  “I was a pony, pussy whipped boy, wanting a girl that wanted nothing more than for me to fall off the face of the fucking earth, and you know what?” He asks, grabbing my chin so I would look into his eyes. “I still fucking wanted you. I wanted you even when you hated me, even when I hated you. I wanted to take you against the wall and do anything I could to get you to shut your fucking mouth.”

  I let out a laugh, yeah; I was a bitch most days to him. The way I see it though, he had it coming. No one fucked with Jenna and got away with it. Ever.

  “You think that’s funny?” He asks with prying eyes. I nod my head yes, my smile still held in place. But I don’t think it’s funny, I think it’s fucking hilarious!!

  “You deserved everything I ever did to you. Hell you deserved more.” My breath catches in my throat as the last words fall from my lips. His nose is on mine, his eyes staring intently at my lips.

  “What?” My voice is hushed, as if I’m trying to hide my attraction to him. Him on the other hand not so much, as his cock is pressed firmly into my leg.

  “Your lips….” He says, his finger skimming across the bottom of my lips.

  “They’re beautiful. The way you bite at them when you’re thinking, the way they feel when I kiss them, and the way they tremble when you’re mad.”

  Wow, so he’s either a stage five stalker, or he’s actually been paying attention to me over the years.

  “Thank you, but that’s not going to get you laid.” He laughs, and it sounds evil. Menacing like he’s up to something naughty.

  “Aww damn, I thought it would have had you dropping your panties and riding my face by now.”

  My teeth bite at my lip as my mind takes me on a roller coaster of what that would be like, his fingers separating my folds as I lower myself onto his….

  “Hey are you still with me?” He asks his cocky grin still in place. His fingers are pushing at the hair that fell into my face.

  “Yeah… Yeah…” Really I’m as far from fine as can be. I need to get into my room and find B.O.B. ASAP.

  “My dad fucked up with my mom, and I don’t want to fuck up with you. It took me a long time to realize that I should just try. This is me trying; I want you and no one else.”

  I watch the smug smile he always has on his face melts away, as a look of anguish forms. His body goes tense, and it’s not like he’s angry, but something more.

  “I hate him for what he did, he tore my family apart, and he tore my mom apart. She will never trust another man again and I don’t blame her. It’s made me lack trust in the whole male species.” His arms fall to his sides, as if a realization hit him right then and there.

  “I… I can’t talk about this right now. It hurts me too much; I just wanted to open up a little bit.”
He walks away from me stiffly, as if a pressure has fallen on him making it impossible for him to walk around without it weighing him down. I feel myself caving wanting to give into him. Caress him, and tell him it’ll be okay. That not all men are the same as his dad that he’s not anything like his dad.

  “Corey stop…” I’m so full of emotion I don’t even notice myself reaching out to wrap my arms around him. He stops dead in his tracks. I can feel his heart beating through his thin shirt, my hand right over it. Right now I could care less about myself being hurt; all I want to do is help him.

  “You’re not like your dad Corey. You’re better than him. When he did wrong, you did right. He left your mom and your family. Yeah you took your anger and hate out on the wrong person but… you’re not the same Corey.”

  He turns releasing my arms looking me straight in the eyes, a look of disgust marring his face.

  “Being told I’m not the same isn’t good enough. I need to prove myself and I will.” He says letting out a hiss. I shake my head wrapping my arms around him tighter. Yeah he’s fucked up, he’s done some really bad things, but who hasn’t? Everyone should be given a second chance. People change when they want to, and this shows me Corey wants to change.

  He stands still letting me hold him for a short time before his arms find their way around me, pulling me into him. It feels as if he’s trying to make an impression of me on himself as a lasting reminder. As If I’m the one thing separating him from being like his father, and if I can I’ll save him, even if it means risking myself and my heart.

  I feel him bend down, and burrow his face into my hair breathing in my scent as if it’s the one thing that can calm him in this time of need.

  “I need you… It’s not a want baby… it’s a need. If I don’t have you I’ll fall apart at the seams. I’ll become even less of a man. You make me whole, and you could call me selfish, you can tell me you hate me… but nothing is going to make me give up on you, or us.”

  My heart constricts in pain. His body is no longer rigid and I know this is him letting me in. It’s him allowing someone to hurt him. Why would he give someone that kind of power? He loves you dumbass, that’s why.

  “I… I don’t know what to say to make it better. You’ve fucked up Corey and I have to. I’ve pushed you to your limits over and over again. How could you still want me after all of that?” The words are just spewing from my mouth like vomit. Word vomit.

  “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay.” He reassures me. How did we go from me comforting him to him comforting me? He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around him. The gesture isn’t sexual, he just wants me close, and he wants to hold me. He lands hard on the couch, and I pull myself away looking into his hazel colored eyes.

  They bring me warmth down to the bone.

  “You pushed me because you knew I needed it. Who knows what kind of person I would be if it weren’t for you handing me my ass every day. Somewhere along the way your words hit me.”

  His hold on me loosens. I see the insecurities and the risk he’s taking with me. He may be solid, and built like a man should be but he’s real and now that his true feelings have come to the surface I can’t hold back my next words… he’s shown me a side of him I didn’t know existed he’s shown me that he’s capable of love and if he is then maybe not all hope is lost. Then maybe I am too.

  “I love you.” It comes out as a whisper, but I know he heard it when I see the shock register in his eyes. No worries boy, I never thought I would say it either.

  His hands tangle in my hair, as he brings his lips down to mine. The urgent need and the crumbling of our walls is felt in that one kiss. In that one moment when our lips touch I know this boy will be the death of me that is if I don’t kill him first.

  Love at first SLUT

  I wake up the next morning to a very welcoming sight. Corey is between my legs feasting on breakfast. His touch is gentle as his lips, devour me. He takes my clit into his mouth, nipping at it. My moans turn into screams as he finger fucks me hard. I arch off the bed, and his hold tightens. My thighs shake and toes curl as I come hard. He rides it out, lapping up all my juices. When he comes up to face me he smiles.

  “That’s the best breakfast I’ve ever had. I might have to have it every day.” He winks and I feel myself swoon. What happened to the asshole I was living with a few weeks ago? And when did he get replaced by this hunk of a man.

  “Oh yeah, I could get use to that every day.” I groan stretching out my muscles. His eyes glaze over as they glide over every dip and curve on my skin.

  “See something you like?” I tease, I know there’s no time for the deed but at the very least I can have him hard thinking about me all day.

  “Not just something I like, but something I fucking love.” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips as his teeth bite down on his lip. I bite down on my own, thinking of all the things we could do.

  “We can’t Corey, I have class and I have to swing by the administration office and fill out some paper work.” He lets out a frustrated groan as he flops back down on the bed. His muscles are stiff, and his erection is about ready to blow out of his pants. Ahh, today should be a great day. Blue balls.

  “You’re killing me Mimi, killing me.” I ignore his complaints and get out of bed making sure he has a nice show of my ass swaying while I attempt to pick out some clothes.

  “Fuck, that ass is mine when you get done today. All mine.” I look over my shoulder and see him watching me from hooded eyes, his hand stroking his cock in a slow pace. It’s exotic and it takes everything in me to turn my eyes away. God he’s magnificent. A beautiful bastard and he’s all mine.

  I bend over, searching for a pair of shoes in my closet. I don’t even have a shirt or pants picked out so why I’m digging shoes out I don’t know. Yeah you do, you want to watch him stroke himself to ecstasy and you want to be the reason why.

  “Fuck me.” He grits out, I can hear the rawness, and hunger in his voice. I look over my shoulder and give him a little wink as I stand up straight and make my way over to the dresser. Our eyes catch the others in the mirror. His pace has picked up, and I have to bite my lip to stifle the moan I want to let loose.

  I dig in the dresser for bra and panties, but I am so focused on Corey that I end up grabbing a pair of socks. He groans, and I do too. I forget all about grabbing my bra and panties, and insert a finger between my folds. He watches me, urging me on, and his eyes are begging for my release. My pace quickens as does his as I swirl my finger around my clit. I flick it back and forth with my finger. I feel the orgasm coming and it has me going weak in the knees. Just when I think that it can’t get better, Corey slams into me hard from behind.

  His hands bite into my hips as he thrust upwards. My mouth forms in the distinct O, as a shudder runs through us. I push back against him urging him to give me all he’s got. One of his hands stays on my hip while the other lifts my leg slowly making it easier for him to go deeper.

  The moment he hits the spot I feel myself crumbling. One stroke, two strokes, three strokes… and I’m soaring.

  His hand finds its way into my hair, as he pulls it tight, wrapping it around his hand. He pulls me so my back is flush with his chest. The sting of pain on my scalp is equalized by the intense pleasure I’m feeling. Not a thought fills my head or a word is said as I meet my god. I close my eyes relishing in the feeling, prickles of pleasure course through me as he slams into over and over again.

  “Fuck yeah baby, fuck yeah.” He whispers in my ear riding out my orgasm.

  “I love you.” He grits out with one last slam of his hips and one last sound of our skin beating together.

  “I love you too.” I huff out. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be him that’s going to kill me.

  ***

  “Why the hell are you late again?” Kennedy asks as we make our way into the library to study. The girl is too adorable; how she got stuck with me as a partner for a project I don’t know. I almost feel bad for her
. She oozes innocence and sunshine. Her long blonde hair is pulled back in a bun, her nose has a line of freckles on it, and her face is framed by a pair of super cute black glasses. She’s wearing skinny jeans and a sweatshirt. She has the whole girl next door look going on.

  “I… Umm… got caught up.” I mumble out not really wanting to tell her Corey was doing me from behind. She’s too pure, normal and happy for that shit.

  “Right, I’m sure you were being boned by your man.” She says under her breath rolling her eyes at me. Her sarcastic tone almost makes me want to laugh, maybe I underestimated her.

  “I was actually; I just didn’t want to burn your virgin ears.” She looks at me with disgust that is until her eyes catch on someone behind me. I turn around spotting Ryder. His hair is a dismantled mess and he looks as if he was just mauled by someone. He sends us a one dimpled smile, his eyes lingering on Kennedys longer than necessary.

  “No. No. Not even. No. Fuck no.” I whisper yell. It’s not that I want to tell her what to do, it’s I want to tell her who not to do, or in other words, who to not let do her. As in Ryder, as in he would tear her to pieces and leave her weeping.

  “I’m pretty sure I can make my own choices. You don’t even know me and plus It doesn’t matter. He’s out of my league, although it doesn’t hurt to look.” She sounds indifferent to Ryder, and just for a second I think maybe, just maybe there’s hope for him.

  “Come on lets go get some seats so that we can work on this stupid project.” As I’m walking away, I take notice of the fact that blondie is not next to me or walking behind me. Oh no, she’s staring at Ryder’s ass as he walks away.

  I snap my fingers at her bringing her out of her Ryder induced coma. What the fuck is it with women and him? “Hello, there’s drool pooling at your feet could you make it any more obvious?” She scuffs, pretending not to be caught her face glowing red with embarrassment.

  “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bitch?” She gloats. I almost want to laugh, almost. I should be pissed because not even Corey gets to call me a bitch without a comeback hitting him in the face, but Blondie here? Nope she’s growing on me.