Bittersweet Hate (Bittersweet #3) Read online

  “But… I thought…” Bridget says her eyes filling with tears.

  “You thought wrong…” He says harshly. I don’t know what happened to Ryder to make him so dark, and disconnected but whatever it is, it’s going to take a fucking saint to pull him out of it. The girl swivels in her seat, then gets up, removing herself from the situation. Even though, I’m happy she’s gone, I feel sorry for her. She expected more from him, and it’s not easy hearing that someone wants to use you to satisfy a need.

  “Dude, that was fucking harsh.” Rex says annoyance obvious in his tone. Jenna looks at me confused as hell, and I look back at her the same way. This whole night is a cluster fuck.

  “How was that harsh? I laid out the rules, if she wasn’t up for it that’s her problem. There will be others.” His voice is cool, as if five minutes ago he didn’t have a problem. Which he clearly did.

  “Can we go? I’m over this.” All I want to do is go home, and go to sleep. I’m exhausted. All this arguing is hurting my brain. Jenna looks at me pouting. I know she’s trying to make us stay for one more game. I cave because how couldn’t I.

  “Okay one more game, and I’m done.” How can you not give into that face? She smiles at me as I take a seat across from Corey. I divert my eyes to the table not wanting to meet his gaze. His feet brush against my sock covered ones. Is he seriously playing footsie with me? I pull back slightly, gearing up to land a hard kick in his shin.

  A growl admits from his mouth, and I cover my mouth with my hand to silence any laughter. Once I have myself together I look at him raising an eyebrow, like seriously? He smirks at me. Like really smirks, and I feel an itch in my palm form. The one that wants to smack that look the fuck off his face.

  “Hey, I have got to go man.” Ryder says in a hushed tone to Corey. He looks fidgety, and anxious. I’m really starting to wonder if he’s doing drugs.

  “Oh, okay man. Call us if you need anything.” Corey says, a surprised look on his face. Then it dawns on me he came with us, so how he’s getting a ride back? I ponder the thought a moment. He’s got to be going to find Bridget or something.

  With Ryder gone and the love birds all over each other I’m left with no one else to entertain me but Corey. I glare at him over the table, taking a sip of my drink. My phone chimes with an incoming text. I look down, at it. It’s from an unknown number.

  I open the text, and it says “You suck at bowling.”

  This can’t be. He can’t possibly have my number.

  Fear settles deep into my bones, rooting me to my seat. I look around the darkly lit bowling alley, for Brody. I swivel my gaze back around and it lands on Corey’s who is looking at me in a peculiar way. Many would say Corey is dumb, but don’t let him fool you he’s fan-fucking-tastic at reading people and right now he’s reading me like an open book.

  “What’s your problem?” His voice sounds worried, but his face looks calm. My phone chimes again. I look down at it hesitantly, afraid to open the message. I watch as Corey’s eyes catch on my phone. What happens next occurs so fast there’s no way for me to stop him. In an instant he snatches it from my hand. I let out a snarl, as I reach across the table, trying my hardest to grab it.

  “Give me that Corey Alan Winchester. Or so help me god.” He holds the phone above his head and out of my reach as he clicks through the messages I assume. His expression changes from laid back to panicky in seconds. As I lean down on my arms in front of him. I’m getting my phone back the minute it comes within reach.

  What I don’t expect is for him to stand, and grab me by the arm, pulling me into a dark secluded area of the bowling alley.

  “Excuse you, but no one fucking man handles me.” I yell yanking my arm from his hold. Darkness descends over us, stealing all the oxygen. I take a deep breath, and huff it out.

  “It’s not me that you should be worried about manhandling you. When the fuck did you start getting messages like this, and why the hell haven’t you told me?” His body language is intimidating, and anger radiates from him as he pushes me against the wall.

  I’m afraid to look him in the eyes so I turn my face the other way and talk. He grips my chin pulling my eyes back to meet his. I refuse to give into his alpha male tendencies so I shift my head back the other way.

  “Why didn’t you tell me Mimi? You know I will protect you.” He whispers to me, as if trying to soothe the pain.

  “There’s nothing to protect me from.” I mumble pushing on his chest. He doesn’t budge though, and I know I’m fucked.

  “Look at me.” He says, his voice is still menacing. He’s angry and I know why. I should have told him, it could be Brody, and if he’s coming back for me then I should be telling someone.

  “Fucking look at me” He yells, his voice booming in my ears startles me. I’ve never been afraid of Corey but when he acts like this I can’t help but shudder in fear. I raise my chin lightly to look into his eyes. They are black, the hazel color long bled out. In one second flat he has both arms wrapped around me.

  “Please move.” I beg, pushing him back. I can hear the break in my voice and I don’t like it.

  “Are you scared Mimi?” He asks. A tingle goes down my spine and I feel my panties getting wet. What the fuck is wrong with me, he’s turning me on?

  “No.” I say determinedly as I look him straight in the eyes. It’s as if I push him over the edge again. I smile inside knowing I’m the reason he goes crazy.

  “Well you should be.” I’m given no time to respond to his statement because his mouth crashes down on mine. There’s fierceness in this kiss. Also there is an aggression, anger, and hate so deep that it almost hurts.

  His teeth nip at my lips begging for me to open more. Hesitantly I do. His tongue invades my mouth, circulating with my own. My hands grasp into his hair, as I pull it hard. A groan escapes both of our mouths, as his hands descend down to my ass lifting me in one swift moment as he slams my back into the wall. The friction of the kiss and intensity of him has my panties soaked.

  “You fucking want me don’t you?” He asks against my lips. I whimper grinding myself deeper into him. One second he’s there loving on me and the next, he pulls himself from me. A shit eating grin is on his face. I’m flustered, and left hanging. My mind is all over the place. Did we just maul each other in a bowling alley? I feel at my lips, which are swollen. It was real. I look up at him. Suddenly I feel weak for giving into the cravings. I cannot give myself to him. I push past him, but before I can get away he grabs my arm bringing me back into his chest.

  “Just admit it you want it as bad as I do.”

  He’s still grinning and it causes my anger to fly off the handle. I pull back making a fist. I can’t stop myself from hitting him, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t. He’s had it coming for a long time.

  My fist makes enough contact with his cheek and nose for him to release his hold on me. I take another step backwards, fear almost rooting me to the very spot I’m in. When his face swings back to mine there’s an anger, and hate in his eyes like I’ve never seen. I almost want to piss my pants. His eyes are black as they bleed into mine.

  “Never fucking touch me again; NEVER.” He yells as I watch him kick three chairs, and punch a table in his angered rage. The rage I put him in. I thought once I got him to this point I would be happy, but I’m not. I’m scared, and I’m sad. I’m sad that I’ve inflected my anger on him.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Jenna and Rex both say in unison coming up behind me. I’m shocked, and I’m disappointed in myself. I wanted to push him, but then he pushed back. I thought I was stronger, I thought that when he pushed me I could take it, but I can’t.

  “I fucked up.” I declare, sorrow filling my voice. Corey leaves through the front door and I wonder how he’s getting home; if he’s even going to come home.

  “What did you do?” Rex asks concerned with my well-being. I can’t even talk. Fuck, I don’t even want to talk about it.

  “I… I don’t want to
talk about it.” I mumble out flustered with the whole situation.

  “Mimi.” Jenna says, her motherly tone kicking in. Her fingers dig into my arm.

  “What happened?” Her voice is begging me.

  “I punched him in the face.” I whisper, ashamed of my actions. I’ve hit Corey before but this time it went too far. Her face morphs into shock as Rex comes back into the building. I wasn’t even aware he left.

  “He’s not outside, what happened.” Rex is out of breath as if he ran around the building looking for him. It’s your fault he doesn’t want to be here, I say to myself.

  “I punched him in the face. He pissed me off; he pushed me to the edge so I pushed back.” I say meekly, not really wanting to say anything at all built knowing if I don’t Jenna will get it out of me.

  “He didn’t hit you back did he?” Rex asks as he examines me for any trauma. That question raises a red flag to me, he didn’t but he looked like he wanted too.

  “No he didn’t but should I be concerned?” Suddenly it occurs to me the stress I’m putting him under. The constant banter I once thought was funny could very well be eating away at him. I start to hate myself, instead of hating him.

  “No, not really I don’t think he would ever hurt you Mimi. He cares about you more then you know.” Rex says as if he knows what Corey wants.

  “No he doesn’t Rex, the only type of feelings he has for me are hate, and then there’s that sexual frustration. What he feels is the need to sink his dick into me. That’s it plain and fucking simple.” Rex looks at me as if I’m stupid, as If I can’t see the things occurring around me.

  I look at him as if he’s stupid, as if he can’t see the fuming agitation between the two of us.

  “You’re both stupid.” He says shaking his head. Jenna hits him in the arm, giving him a dirty look for calling her best friend stupid. It doesn’t bother me though, in a way I am stupid. I should’ve seen the way my behavior affected both of us. Corey’s done so much for me. He saved my life, he went to jail for beating the shit out of Brody for what he did to me. He’s been a whole lot better to me then I have been to him.

  “Let’s go, he’s not a lost puppy Rex he can find his own way home.” I say softly a calmness incasing me.

  “Alright” He replies letting out a loud sigh. I can’t wait to get home and put this night behind me. But as much as I want to forget about what happened tonight a nagging feeling sits there in the back of my mind. I wonder if Corey will even come home tonight.

  Home Sweet… Home?

  I feel even worse when I get home to a dark quiet apartment alone. Since the assault, I haven’t been the same. I’m still my snarky, bitchy self, but I’m more constantly aware of my surroundings. Contemplating the easiest ways to get out of a situation if need be. I’m always looking over my shoulder, avoiding dark areas. Everything that I used to take for granted before I no longer do. All it takes is an instant for your life to change.

  I throw my purse at the floor and contemplate getting the tequila out. I told Corey and Jenna that I wouldn’t drink myself into a drunken stupor, but it’s starting to sound very appealing.

  My phone starts ringing in my purse and I scramble for it. I pull it out, and see it’s my mom. Ahh. Not someone I want to talk to right now. I push decline, and pray she doesn’t leave a voicemail. Every time she calls it has to do with some type of drama back home or she wants to order me around to do something. That’s just what I need right now. Sigh. It’s the fucking straw that broke the camel’s back.

  I pick myself up off the floor, grabbing a chair and pushing it to the counter. I know exactly where Jenna hid the tequila, I say to myself, smiling like the evil mastermind I am.

  I open the cupboard and gaze upon my baby. TEQUILA. I grab it backing down from the counter. Short girl problems. I put it on the counter and dig through the cabinets for salt. Shit if you’re doing tequila shots you best be doing them correctly. I grab limes, salt and head for the kitchen table. I get out five shot glasses filling them with the tequila. I cut the limes into wedges and lick the space between my thumb and forefinger. Let’s see if I can get to a comatose state in 2.2 seconds flat?

  I sprinkle salt on my hand; I ready myself taking a deep breath. Just as my tongue darts out to lick the sticky salt on my hand the front door comes blasting open ferociously. I lick the salt, throw back the shot, and let the tequila burn my insides. Why the fuck not; I’m going to have shit storm coming anyway. I suck the lime into my mouth, my eyes catching on Corey’s; there’s an intensity in them that has me wanting to run to my room and never come out.

  He takes strong, heavy steps over to my chair. He looks fifty shades of pissed off and I just don’t care. I reach out taking another shot into my hand, I down it; the tequila doesn’t burn as much, so I must be going numb from the inside out.

  “What the fuck were you thinking? You think this shit with Brody is a joke Mimi? You think hitting me is acceptable. What if I hit you back? Would that be acceptable?” His words hit me fiercely, but don’t scare me. Like I’ve said many times he doesn’t scare me. I know that’s what he wants though. He thinks that if I’m scared of him, scared of putting my heart on the line that I’ll keep my distance. That I’ll actually start to believe this hateful game between us is real. Weird how a little alcohol can clear your head.

  “What was I thinking? What were you thinking… you kissed me? I pushed you away and you wouldn’t let me go so I punched you. No, it wasn’t acceptable and I feel bad, but if I say let the fuck go, I suppose you’ll be letting go next time.”

  He looks at me savagely, his eyes blazing, anger, and frustration showing so deep into them I can’t see the bottom.

  His hand snakes out gripping my chin hard in-between his fingers. “You’re not scared Mimi. Of all the things I could do to you being all alone here, in this apartment.” I let out a shudder this is what he wants. It’s like his defense mechanism or something. He would rather camouflage his feelings, and put the spot light back on me.

  I hold my head high, no reason not to. “You hate me Corey, not sure what someone who hates someone else would do to them alone in an apartment. I can tell you one thing though, you keep up this attitude and I’m going to have to drink more tequila.” God fucking forbid I have to drink this whole bottle to deal with him. The sadness I was feeling for him is long gone.

  He looks from me to the bottle; his muscles tighten underneath his shirt. What I would do to lick that, tiny wedge of skin that’s peeking out where his shirt rides up. Yum-fucking-my. He grabs the bottle gripping it tightly in his hold. I see the tension ease out of him the moment he slams that bottle back and allows the sweet alcohol to take the pain away.

  When he comes up for air, he starts coughing. “How the fuck can you drink that, it’s strong as shit.”

  I giggle, yeah I fucking giggle. “Well it’s my I-don’t-give-a-shit-I’ve-had-a-bad-fuckin-day beverage of choice. It’s got to be strong to live up to some of the shit I go through.”

  He eyes me, and I feel wild and free with him here. The room starts to heat and I can’t tell if it’s me or the fact that I’m drinking.

  “I’m going to go get dressed.” I mumble dismissing myself from the table. The second I step inside my room, I strip all my clothing and pull out a long shirt. Fuck the lingerie. Nothing is sexier than a woman in a man’s shirt.

  Just as I get the shirt over my head, I hear a loud crashing sound come from the living room. I run out into the living room not even caring that I could be showing my goods off.

  Our eyes lock, as I stare at his broken phone on the floor. He stalks over to me, as if I’m prey. I back away fully intent on getting away from him, but come to a screeching halt.

  He leans into me his scent surrounding me. He smells like man, and sweetness. Like a cupcake that I want to take a huge fucking bite of.

  “Tell me fucking stop. Beg me, and I will.” His voice is barely above a whisper and I shake my head not wanting to tell him no
any longer. His lips descend on mine with viciousness. I know if we do this there’s no going back.

  He braces himself on each side of me, his muscles straining as he pushes into me. There’s anger in him that needs unleashed. A love that needs sparked.

  I bite his lip hard; as he takes my tongue into his mouth His once gentle grip on me is now hard, as he feels his way under my ass lifting me up. His height is against us, and I almost want to laugh out at the awkward positioning.

  Holding me against the wall he uses one hand to brace us and the other to explore all the hidden areas of my body. As if he’s mapping each part individually.

  “You’re so fucking sexy.” He whispers against my neck as he laps at my skin. I surrender to his touches, his hidden promises, and his kisses. Two fingers enter me, in a wild rage. The pain and pleasure a delicious feeling. His movements hit that one spot that turns me to mush.

  He relinquishes me turning me around to face the wall in turn causing me to whimper from the need to have him inside of me. He takes his shirt off, then strips off his pants, and underwear.

  “I’m going to fuck you long and hard, just how I’ve always wanted to.” He grits out pushing my shirt up and tearing my panties clear off. I rub my legs together to relieve some of the need.

  “Fuck me.” I beg. I’m practically panting as I turn my head round looking at him over my shoulder. That fucking smirk is plastered on his face and I feel myself getting wetter, if that’s even possible.

  “Do you want it long and hard, or soft, and slow? Or do you want both? Either way my cock is going in that tight, sweet pussy.”

  I clench as his words swim around my head. “I don’t care how you give it to me, just fuck me Corey.” I growl out, raw emotions coming to the surface. His fingers dig into my hips as he places himself at my entrance. I try my hardest to press back against him, needing relief from the pressure building deep inside of me.

  Suddenly a smack lands on my ass hard, just as the pain is felt it’s eased away as he rubs the spot he hit. I growl out in desperation afraid he may not give me my release. I feel him, his hands, his body, his smell surrounds me and I’m hyper aware of him. My body, mind, and soul breathe him. Just as I’m about to turn around and tell him to fuck me he slams into me balls deep, so I can feel every delicious inch of him.